A Big Problem

My sister.
Her first relationship with her bf makes my whole family worry for her. They are together for a year plus now. She seems to trust very much in her bf. We feel that they're an incompatible pair, in terms of age, mentality & character. But is her choice & if we force them to breakup, she might blame us. The present situation makes me even worrier. She kept visiting his house whereas he didn't even stay in our house for more than half an hour, and that was the last time. Although my dad dislike him in apparent, he should take initiative to show his sincerity that he really loves my sis; the more he should frequent our house. In future, if they were to get married, I'm afraid my parents may lose a daughter. And I'll not be having a sister which I once adore so much... I hate to see my sis being controlled by some stranger. Yes, a stranger whom we've no chance to understand. All I can do is to give pointers now & then. And also dedicate merits to her. The rest she has to look out for herself.

I'll be away from 10th to 21st May. Participating in Vipassana retreat at St. John's Island. Hope to share some nice experience when I'm back.

End of semester

This is the worst exams I’ve ever taken. I’ve never been so unprepared; unprepared in the sense that I didn’t really study with heart. I don’t feel the anxiety which normally I will. Lesser and lesser hours were spent on books as time gone by. Now, just to wait for what I’ve sow to reap in June (the survivor of 2 out of 3 modules were uncertain).

In the midst of the preparation of my exams, I kept myself motivated. I must not give up this degree thou I’ve planned another path to take. I must walk till the end of this route before conquering a new step of the other. It’ll be irresponsible of me to thrust aside an unfinished 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle for a 4000-piece one. This might led me to give up things which I’m pursuing halfway just bcos of my impatience & blasé attitude. Arrrgghh... I don’t wanna fritter away the effort I’ve built in the 700 pieces. I dislike someone like this.

In any case, I feel I’m not cut out to be a good accountant. I hate to write reports & poor in analysis. However, I don’t mind the work in the accounting or finance field. Or probably I’ve not encounter a complex duty. I’ve actually planned to work a year or two in the Big Four before commencing my nursing course. Yeah.. that’s my final destination; to serve the sick & make them better. But I’ve my worries. Does the personality of an accounts officer correspond with a nurse? I don’t treat numbers as sincere as I do towards human; I don’t strive to score perfect numbers but I do ensure my loved ones are well-taken care of; I don’t feel accountable if my numbers can’t tie yet I’ll suffer guilt or distress if my loved ones are suffering. Most importantly, I’ll have to start all over again in order to walk the desired path... time.

Wisdom is capable of putting you in a situation of non-contradiction whereas there would be contradiction if you did not have wisdom. The main one is the...

Wisdom realizing Emptiness.